Aug 23, 2010
Hokies Looking Good This Year, Reports Man With No Knowledge Of Sports
August 23, 2010 | Leave a Comment
The Virginia Tech Hokies are looking pretty strong this year in respect to both their offense and defense, a Richmond man who does not follow college football or sports told his peers today. “I tell you, [Virginia Tech Head Coach] Frank Beamer, man, he’s still going strong out there,” said Nick Sheppard, mentioning the only [...]
Jun 02, 2009
Veteran Richmond newsman Gene Cox said today that he is attempting to organize an “absolutely wicked” Ultimate Frisbee team for the summer, with the hopes of playing one game a week before his nightly newscast on NBC12. Similar to football and played heavily in college circles, “Ultimate,” as it is known, is a seven-on-seven game that [...]
Dec 01, 2008
Redskins New Winning Strategy: Santana Moss Will Shoot Self In Leg
December 1, 2008 | 2 Comments
Seeking to mirror the success of the 11-1 New York Giants, the 7-5 Washington Redskins said this morning that Santana Moss has been told to accidentally self-inflict a gunshot wound onto his thigh, an injury that will bench the wide receiver for the remainder of the season. The announcement comes on the heels of the [...]
Nov 21, 2008
Lonely Richmond Brave Diagnosed With Depression
November 21, 2008 | 5 Comments
Wondering where all his friends and family have gone in recent weeks, the iconic statue of the Native American brave at The Diamond was diagnosed today with clinical depression, doctors said. Local psychotherapist Dr. Philip M. Marbal Jr. said the statue of the Richmond Brave – which is inexplicably named “Connecticut” – has been “completely inconsolable” [...]
Guy Who Lives Above 3 Monkeys Tired Of Asking Everyone To Keep It Down
Nick Cavalieri, who has lived in the apartment directly above 3 Monkeys Bar and Grill since November, is getting "more than fed up" with having to continuously tell his neighbors to be quiet, the 30-year-old said today.
"Monday through Sunday, I hear those guys partying pretty much every night," Cavalieri said. The University ...
