Nov 05, 2008
Defeated Mayor Candidate Bill Pantele Donates Leftover Campaign Funds To Red
November 5, 2008 | 1 Comment
Nov 04, 2008
17 Voters Dead In ‘Calculated’ Velociraptor Polling Precinct Attack
November 4, 2008 | 5 Comments
Just as Virginia Board of Elections officials had suspected, a pack of four velociraptors stormed a Richmond voting precinct early this afternoon, killing as many as 17 voters and leaving at least 30 more injured. The ostrich-size dinosaurs – which move really fast and are basically the awesomest dinosaurs of all – appear to “have [...]
Officials: Stupid Old People Having Trouble Working Polling Computers
November 4, 2008 | 1 Comment
Virginia Board of Elections officials are cautioning voters to be patient this morning as hundreds of “stupid old people” experience difficulty in operating the incredibly user-friendly voting machines. The stupid old people, defined by officials as “some voters older than age 70,” are causing lines to backup all across the Richmond region as the elderly people cannot, [...]
Lines Of Voters Stretching As Far Back As 1904
November 4, 2008 | 3 Comments
Guy Who Lives Above 3 Monkeys Tired Of Asking Everyone To Keep It Down
Nick Cavalieri, who has lived in the apartment directly above 3 Monkeys Bar and Grill since November, is getting "more than fed up" with having to continuously tell his neighbors to be quiet, the 30-year-old said today.
"Monday through Sunday, I hear those guys partying pretty much every night," Cavalieri said. The University ...
