Dec 01, 2009
News Outlets Unsure Of What To Cover Today
December 1, 2009 | 3 Comments
Representatives across the Richmond area’s mainstream media outlets said that they are unsure of what to report on today, adding that the entire state is lacking a “big story” that could top newspaper headlines, drive-time radio or the various morning, afternoon and evening TV broadcasts.
“I’m checking my notes and it’s the normal car wreck, a [...]
Nov 19, 2009
Expert: Capitol Square ‘Technically’ A Trapezoid
November 19, 2009 | 10 Comments
Capitol Square, the 4-acre home to Virginia’s most prominent government buildings and the historic State Capitol, is “technically a trapezoid,” a leading geometric expert said today.
“I mean I don’t want to split hairs here, but I’m surprised you guys never figured this out,” said Virginia Commonwealth University math professor Ian J. Haley, drawing a red [...]
Nov 13, 2009
Local Residents: ‘Who Will Stop Rain?’
November 13, 2009 | 1 Comment
According to various local residents, long as they remember the rain’s been coming down, and additionally, clouds of mystery have been pouring and confusion is largely evident on the ground.
A good man through the ages who for several days has been trying to find the sun, Southside resident Stu Fogerty wondered today who, if anyone, would [...]
Nov 12, 2009
Meteorologist Increasingly Distraught While Speaking Of More Rain
November 12, 2009 | 1 Comment
NBC12’s Jim Duncan, the station’s normally jovial and upbeat meteorologist, appeared downtrodden and depressed last night while reporting to viewers news of additional rain and dreary skies throughout Central Virginia.
“More rain in store for us tomorrow, getting heavy in the late morning and early afternoon, but, I don’t know, what really does it matter anymore because it’s [...]
Sep 23, 2009
That Guy, One Who Did All The Baseball Stuff Or Whatever His Name Is, Running For U.S. Congress
September 23, 2009 | 1 Comment
Aug 04, 2009
Pancake Restaurant Purchases Closed Virginia Rest Stops
August 4, 2009 | 1 Comment
Two weeks after closing 18 of the state’s rest stops, the Virginia Department of Transportation today announced that it has sold all but one of the Commonwealth’s now-closed facilities to the Aunt Sarah’s Pancake House chain of breakfast restaurants.
The move is expected to generate much-needed revenue for the state’s transportation needs and ease the discomfort [...]
Jul 20, 2009
Report: Mom Made Mac And Cheese For Dinner!
July 20, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Statue: ‘I’m Gay’
July 20, 2009 | 5 Comments
Finally confirming a decades-long rumor that it is way totally gay, the Matthew Fontaine Maury statue said today that it is, and has forever been, a homosexual monument.
“This is something that I no longer want to hide, which is why today I am coming out and telling you all that I am proud to be a [...]
Local Girlfriend Cuts Boyfriend-Interest Rate To All-Time Low
Fan District resident and girlfriend Audrey Rankin said yesterday that she has dropped her boyfriend-interest rate by nearly 74 points in a move that is expected to help stimulate her partner's investment into their two-year relationship.
The couple, according to Rankin, has been on the decline for the past six months amid boyfriend Andrew Adams' ...
