Jun 25, 2009
Governor Not Missing
June 25, 2009 | 4 Comments
Virginia Gov. Timothy M. Kaine’s whereabouts are known, officials confirmed today, saying the leader of the state is still in Richmond and, furthermore, is not anywhere near South America.
“I can tell you that the governor is here and doing lots of governy stuff, like working hard to improve our state’s educational and transportation systems, cleaning up the [...]
Jun 19, 2009
Virginia First Lady Anne Holton told reporters this morning that she has now seen the new comedy The Hangover three times and can’t stop gushing about the box office hit with friends and family members.
“I have to admit that going into it, I wasn’t expecting much because I hadn’t seen a lot of previews,” said [...]
Jun 09, 2009
Something important is happening in Virginia today, which could alter the course of the state’s history for the next five months or even longer, according to numerous sources.
It is unknown whether the state’s residents need to do anything, the sources said, though most will likely go about their day as normal anyway.
“We are still not [...]
Apr 22, 2009
Transportation Official Forgets Where He Put That Dang Interstate 64
April 22, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Virginia Department of Transportation Commissioner David S. Ekern told reporters this morning that he has been scurrying all around the state this week trying to find where in the heck he put that darn Interstate 64.
“I swear, I can remember laying it in an east-west fashion from Hampton Roads to West Virginia, but I can’t [...]
Feb 12, 2009
Forgotten Plane Lands At Airport After Circling Runway For 72 Years
February 12, 2009 | 1 Comment
A bygone era Douglas DC-3 airliner made a successful landing yesterday at Richmond International Airport after air traffic controllers apparently forgot all about the plane, which waited nearly 72 years for runway clearance.
The 31 passenger aircraft, operated by the now-defunct Eastern Air Lines, touched down at 3:32 p.m. on Runway 3, airport officials said. The [...]
Feb 05, 2009
Early Morning VDOT Mix-Up Sprays Icy Roads With Pepper
February 5, 2009 | 4 Comments
The Virginia Department of Transportation said trucks that should have been filled with ice-melting rock salt accidentally dumped billions of peppercorns onto state roads and highways this morning, leading to a string of accidents on black ice and reported increase in commuter-related coughing and sniffling.
“While we are currently investigating this matter, it appears that one of [...]
Jan 26, 2009
Tired, Poor, Huddled Mass Of Self-Hatred Dressed As Statue Of Liberty
January 26, 2009 | 4 Comments
Jan 13, 2009
Brave Newborn To Test Effects Of Mine Shaft Collapses On Newborns
January 13, 2009 | 1 Comment
Virginia First Lady Can’t Stop Talking About ‘The Hangover’
Virginia First Lady Anne Holton told reporters this morning that she has now seen the new comedy The Hangover three times and can't stop gushing about the box office hit with friends and family members.
"I have to admit that going ...
