Jun 03, 2009
City Fifth Grader Inducted Into Pen 15 Club
June 3, 2009 | 1 Comment
With less than two weeks left in the 2008-2009 school year, Binford Middle School fifth grader Javon Norman was formally inducted into the top-secret Pen 15 Club today, society members have confirmed.
The inauguration of Norman, held during the wait in the cafeteria’s lunch line, included the ritualistic asking by one-time Pen 15 Club member Michael [...]
May 27, 2009
Local College Students Graduate And Hear Speeches About Hope Or Realizing One’s Potential Or Whatever
May 27, 2009 | 1 Comment
A whole bunch of college students – 17,000, if we had to ballpark it – from all kinds of universities and colleges in the Richmond area graduated last weekend, the weekend before, or the weekend before that, and were more than likely told a lot of promising stuff about their futures, probably.
“Something something hard work something-or-other [...]
Apr 09, 2009
Not That Local White Student Wouldn't Want To Go To Virginia Union, It's Just, You Know
April 9, 2009 | 3 Comments
Noting that he has nothing personal against Virginia Union University and believes it is a top-notch school for, well, he’s sure a great many people, local high school junior and white person Alex Linsley told his guidance counselor yesterday that he just doesn’t want to attend that college next year, but no offense.
“It’s just like, [...]
Mar 25, 2009
Reporter At Important Press Conference Captivated By Nearby Group Selling Girl Scout Cookies
March 25, 2009 | 6 Comments
Faced with a low graduation rate, fiscal mismanagement and poor public perception, Richmond Public Schools Superintendent Yvonne W. Brandon said in a press conference this morning that the public school system is on the verge of, ohmigod, there is a group over there selling Girl Scout cookies.
“There have been some missteps in this school system in [...]
Mar 20, 2009
VCU's Maynor Puts Down The Ball, Hits The Books
March 20, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Playing his final game as an athlete last night, Virginia Commonwealth University senior point guard Eric Maynor said it had finally come time to “put sports behind him” and concentrate on earning a college degree to prepare for his future.
“Basketball is great and all and a ton of fun, and I’ve made some close friends [...]
Mar 06, 2009
Claiming that the couple was glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife at the time, Chesterfield County high school student Evan Bay told reporters this morning that a romantic encounter in his car with fellow classmate Katie Craig could only be described as “seeing paradise by the dashboard light.”
“I remember every little [...]
Mar 04, 2009
VCU Street-crosser Times Street Crossing Perfectly
March 4, 2009 | 3 Comments
Virginia Commonwealth University art history major and self-described professional street-crosser Kartik Malhotra said today that his daily morning crossing of Laurel Street at Franklin Street was “absolutely impeccable.”
“I knew that, from the moment I began crossing the street, this traverse of Franklin was a sheer winner, and that the front of my shoe would just narrowly [...]
Feb 23, 2009
Breaking News: New VCU President Young Enough To Be Old VCU President's Grandson
February 23, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Virginia Commonwealth University officials introduced 42-year-old Michael Rao as the school’s new president on Friday, hailing the choice as a “leader for our academic institution’s future who could easily be our old president’s grandkid.”
Rao, president of Central Michigan University, will succeed Eugene P. Trani on July 1, VCU said. “And, with President Trani turning 70 this [...]
Virginia First Lady Can’t Stop Talking About ‘The Hangover’
Virginia First Lady Anne Holton told reporters this morning that she has now seen the new comedy The Hangover three times and can't stop gushing about the box office hit with friends and family members.
"I have to admit that going ...
