May 18, 2009
Report: Majority Of Twenty- And Thirtysomething Glassware Stolen From Local Bars
May 18, 2009 | 3 Comments
A report released today by Virginia Commonwealth University presents new evidence that an overwhelming majority of all glassware found in the homes of the city’s twenty- and thirty-something restidents is, in fact, illegally removed from local restaurants, pubs and breweries.
The 149-page report found that nearly 92 percent of residents aged 22 to 38 had “a suspicious number” [...]
Apr 29, 2009
Mayoral Convoy Ambushed En Route To Arby’s
April 29, 2009 | Leave a Comment
A motorcade transporting Richmond Mayor Dwight Jones to the Short Pump Arby’s was attacked by terrorists yesterday, six hours after sources leaked word to Tobacco Avenue of the city official’s roast beef run.
Eight gunmen, believed to have been linked to the devout Chic-fil-A fanaticism movement, were killed in a dramatic shootout in the westbound lanes [...]
Apr 28, 2009
Mayor Thinking Arby’s
April 28, 2009 | 2 Comments
Richmond Mayor Dwight Jones is thinking Arby’s for lunch today, sources have confirmed.
The Arby’s run, offhandedly mentioned by Jones at his staff meeting this morning, could fall somewhere between 11:30 p.m. and 1:30 p.m. today, said the sources, who spoke on the condition of anonymity. The mayoral roast beefing will likely target the Short Pump [...]
Mar 29, 2009
Nick Cavalieri, who has lived in the apartment directly above 3 Monkeys Bar and Grill since November, is getting “more than fed up” with having to continuously tell his neighbors to be quiet, the 30-year-old said today.
“Monday through Sunday, I hear those guys partying pretty much every night,” Cavalieri said. The University of Richmond graduate, [...]
Mar 23, 2009
Bar-patronization routines were affected for the second straight week after the recent regionwide disruption to the gaydar system, a crisis now expected to last well into April, city officials said today.
During the weekend, thousands of heterosexual men and women – unable to make proper going-out decisions without fully-functioning gay-detecting technology – poured into bars and restaurants frequented largely by [...]
Feb 13, 2009
Breaking News: Car Spotted At Bullets Drive-Thru
February 13, 2009 | 6 Comments
Someone – an actual person, in a car – was seen earlier today both ordering from and subsequently passing through the Bullets Black Angus Burgers drive-thru window at the restaurant’s West Broad Street location, a local man said.
“I happened to be jogging by at the time and did a double take when I saw the [...]
Jan 14, 2009
Sushi Tastes Kinda Fishy
January 14, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Jan 05, 2009
Couple To Honeymoon At Short Pump Arby’s
January 5, 2009 | 4 Comments
Jayson Hearn and Helenda Rowell, who will be married in May, said today that they plan to spend their 10-day honeymoon at the log cabin-like Arby’s in Henrico County’s far west end.
“A lot of [newlywed] couples go to beaches or other countries, but I can’t think of anything more romantic than vacationing at what looks like [...]






