Dec 03, 2009
Vet Supporters Call On Homeowner’s Association To Remove Heads From Asses
December 3, 2009 | 3 Comments
Supporters of a Medal of Honor recipient who was ordered to remove a flagpole from his yard by his homeowner’s association called on the group yesterday to similarly remove their heads from deep inside their asses.
Col. Van T. Barfoot, a 90-year-old war veteran in Henrico County, was told by the homeowner’s association of his community [...]
Dec 01, 2009
News Outlets Unsure Of What To Cover Today
December 1, 2009 | 3 Comments
Representatives across the Richmond area’s mainstream media outlets said that they are unsure of what to report on today, adding that the entire state is lacking a “big story” that could top newspaper headlines, drive-time radio or the various morning, afternoon and evening TV broadcasts.
“I’m checking my notes and it’s the normal car wreck, a [...]
Nov 19, 2009
Expert: Capitol Square ‘Technically’ A Trapezoid
November 19, 2009 | 10 Comments
Capitol Square, the 4-acre home to Virginia’s most prominent government buildings and the historic State Capitol, is “technically a trapezoid,” a leading geometric expert said today.
“I mean I don’t want to split hairs here, but I’m surprised you guys never figured this out,” said Virginia Commonwealth University math professor Ian J. Haley, drawing a red [...]
Oct 06, 2009
Segway Store Now Offering Area Highway Tours
October 6, 2009 | 1 Comment
“Riding” on the heels of its popular city tours, Segway of Richmond announced today its “Segway or the Highway” program, giving customers a chance to take the two-wheeled personal transporters onto one of the region’s many high-speed thoroughfares.
“We wanted to give people the chance to really open up these babies and push the Segway to [...]
Sep 21, 2009
Report: Floodwall Lacks Adequate Protection Against Southsiders
September 21, 2009 | 8 Comments
A new study released today by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers has cited “serious design flaws” with the floodwall surrounding downtown Richmond, saying that while it is adequate enough to hold back rising river waters, it does nothing to keep hordes of Southside residents from entering the city.
The James River – originally constructed as a moat [...]
Sep 15, 2009
Local Armored Truck Driver Wants To Know Who Wants Some
September 15, 2009 | 2 Comments
Richmond-area armored truck driver and owner of McHale Security Inc. Carl McHale asked today if anyone wanted some, noting he is fully prepared to throw down should anyone try and start something.
“You see this thing? Basically a fortress built on a Ford-550’s chassis. Loaded with guns and grenades and stuff. Who wants some? Do you? [...]
Sep 09, 2009
Tobacco Avenue Tips: Back To School, High School Edition
September 9, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Back to the high school grind this week? Whether you’re an incoming freshman or outgoing senior, be sure to follow these simple guidelines to make the most out of the academic year:
Despite what you may have seen, the most popular guy in school does not possess the ability to call a Time Out and explain to [...]
Jul 28, 2009
“It is important for you to always stay humble.” -God
“Yes, but sometimes, Dad, you have to brag.” -Jesus Christ
We’d like to take a moment to thank Richmonders for voting Tobacco Avenue as the city’s Best Blog in this month’s Richmond Magazine, on newsstands now. We’re truly really appreciative, to the point that some parts of our [...]
Local Girlfriend Cuts Boyfriend-Interest Rate To All-Time Low
Fan District resident and girlfriend Audrey Rankin said yesterday that she has dropped her boyfriend-interest rate by nearly 74 points in a move that is expected to help stimulate her partner's investment into their two-year relationship.
The couple, according to Rankin, has been on the decline for the past six months amid boyfriend Andrew Adams' ...
