Partners at Richmond-based law firm Altmeyer Hollingsworth Capel McRogers Ransom Novielli Walters Janney Leavingsworth Clark Branch & Spero told reporters today that the practice, while priding itself on service to clients, is even prouder of being able to list all 12 partners in the company’s name.
“With our team of well-educated, highly-trained attorneys, we do whatever it [...]

Representatives across the Richmond area’s mainstream media outlets said that they are unsure of what to report on today, adding that the entire state is lacking a “big story” that could top newspaper headlines, drive-time radio or the various morning, afternoon and evening TV broadcasts.
“I’m checking my notes and it’s the normal car wreck, a [...]

Sources: RUN!

November 24, 2009 | 2 Comments

According to various sources, get the hell out of here!  Run! You gotta go now! Now! This whole place is about to go up in flames!
“Leave me behind, save yourself, you hear me? Get the hell out of here,” one source said, noting they’re coming for us all, and, additionally, requested that you tell Rebecca [...]

Capitol Square, the 4-acre home to Virginia’s most prominent government buildings and the historic State Capitol, is “technically a trapezoid,” a leading geometric expert said today.
“I mean I don’t want to split hairs here, but I’m surprised you guys never figured this out,” said Virginia Commonwealth University math professor Ian J. Haley, drawing a red [...]

Taking a few moments to talk to reporters on a number of pressing city issues, a visibly-hungry Mayor Dwight Jones addressed members of the media today while eating his lunch.
“Thank you all for coming,” Jones said, approaching the podium with his black leather folio, a long, silver object later confirmed to be a 12-inch meatball [...]

According to various local residents, long as they remember the rain’s been coming down, and additionally, clouds of mystery have been pouring and confusion is largely evident on the ground.
A good man through the ages who for several days has been trying to find the sun, Southside resident Stu Fogerty wondered today who, if anyone, would [...]

Steve Nuckolls, Richmond’s 2nd District Board Member serving on the envronmentally-conscious Clean City Commission, told reporters today that he tries not to let the position go to his head, despite the prominent title.
“I think the wrong person in this role could get going on a huge ego trip, but not me, actually I’m humbled to [...]

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