Virginia Governor Robert F. McDonnell has enacted Virginia’s Hurricane Emergency Response Plan, evacuating the entirety of Hampton Roads by reversing eastbound lanes on Interstate 64 in a move that will dump more than 300,000 vehicles onto the road, Virginia Governor Robert F. McDonnell daydreamed today.

During the course of what sources said was a 15-minute-long gubernatorial reverie, McDonnell envisioned himself personally assisting Virginians out of the hurricane danger zone; using his physical strength to pull down a jammed emergency gate on an I-64 highway exit “in the nick of time”; and selflessly flying a fighter jet straight into the eye of the imaginary Category 5 storm in an attempt to destroy it with a huge bomb.

“My fellow Virginians, this is our finest hour,” the 56-year-old envisioned himself saying during a televised event as Hurricane Thor roared ashore on the Virginia Beach boardwalk, destroying everything in its path and sending glass and buildings flying everywhere.

“Stay strong, and I promise you that I’ll do everything my power to save the people of Virginia,” said McDonnell, who visualized himself in a pair of aviator sunglasses and perhaps a Coast Guard uniform as the growing wind dramatically blew through his hair. “May God help us all.”

The 56-year-old then held a moment of silence, he imagined.

Then, there were lots of explosions and people swearing.

In his daydream, the 71st governor of Virginia’s evacuation of the state – which saved the lives of everyone, including some dogs – was later turned into a movie where he was played by actor George Clooney. At one point during the fantasy, the former U.S. Army medical supply officer imagined himself going against the demands of his security team and manning a machine gun on the side of an Army helicopter to help keep the peace.

In reality, the I-64 lane reversal plan begins in Norfolk at mile marker 273, just east of the Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel, and ends at the Interstate 295 interchange just east of Richmond, at mile marker 200. The lanes can be reversed at the governor’s discretion for hurricanes or other types of emergencies, such as America’s nuclear bomb battle with Middle Eastern terrorists, which McDonnell daydreamed up earlier last year.


Comments

1 Comment so far

  1. Andrea on September 15, 2010 8:28 am

    I am glad those stock photos seem weird to other people too! WTF is he looking at?

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