Gov. Bob McDonnell today announced a statewide crackdown on drinking and driving, an initiative that will stretch to all corners of Virginia besides that long, boring portion of Interstate 64 between Richmond and Charlottesville.

“Over the course of the next several months we will be increasing our state police patrols on highways and roads through the state, setting up more DUI checkpoints, and arresting offenders with no exceptions,” McDonnell said during a press conference on the steps of the State Capitol. “The rules will be a bit more lax between here and Charlottesville though, because, seriously, what’s a few cold ones to help ease the monotony, am I right or am I right?”

Added McDonnell: “We’re talking a few harmless roadie sodies, not like an entire case or anything.”

The 2010 Checkpoint Strikeforce campaign combines stepped-up law enforcement efforts and proactive public education to fight drunken driving, which is an important thing to do pretty much everywhere, except¬†for the 55-mile stretch of I-64 from about Short Pump to exit 121 or so. The two-lane highway with east-west routes is divided by trees so there’s no way to get in head-on collisions, and plus you can see where cops would hide from like a mile away in those cop-hole things. Plus, officials said, when you think about it, 64 is one of the least-busiest stretches of highway in the state, not to mention the least-curviest stretch of highway and the most-boringest stretch of highway, all of which are factors that make it perfect for cruising and boozing.

Virginians hailed the plan.

“I’m all for stopping drunken drivers, but I could do that drive blindfolded, or even two or three beers deep,” said Will Whitlow, an insurance salesman from Henrico County. “Plus, there’s a huge difference between drinking and driving and having a few road beers.”

The 32-year-old was then arrested for DUI after being pulled over while having a few road beers.

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3 Comments so far

  1. Kurt on September 8, 2010 7:24 am

    No wonder all the gas stations in Zion Xroads were sold out of beer.

  2. J on September 8, 2010 3:37 pm

    I wasn’t driving but definitely had a few high life last weekend on this stretch

  3. Austin on September 9, 2010 6:31 am

    I’ll forgive the author of that piece, as he is clearly too young to have experienced the ultimate oat soda highway — Rte 29 South from Charlottesville to Sweet Briar College.

    Back when homo sapiens was first discovering the linkage between fire and good BBQ, Rte 29 was a two lane thoroughfare traversed by drunk 19-year old UVa students, equally drunk locals (aka “necks”) and county cops with a chip on their shoulders. This dangerous cocktail was made more potent by sign shot contests (an empty glass bottle heaved from the passenger window at 80+ mph). Only the sound of glass crashing against metal counted.

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