Henrico County officials today announced a multi-year transportation plan that will add three more exits off westbound lanes of Interstate 64 onto Glenside Drive and Broad Street, increasing the total number of exits there to six.

Or will that make seven? How many exits are there now? Three? Or four? Well, just take whatever number is currently there, then add three more.

The new exits – 183D, 183E and 183F – are expected to offer drivers additional possibilities for merging off of the interstate, greater feelings of frustration over which offramp to take, and an even greater sense of aggravation upon realizing that, ugh, shit, they have taken the wrong one yet-fucking-again.

“For years, the exits of Glenside and Broad have been nothing if not a headache, either for those of us who are well-accustomed to the exits, or first-timers who are forced to try and figure out which exit to take as they wrangle with MapQuest directions, or instructions from a friend, or simply have to make a blind guess,” said Henrico County Manager Virgil R. Hazelett, chuckling. 

“We’re here today to make that experience even more mind-alteringly painful for anyone who travels on I-64 into Henrico,” he added.

If the new exits prove successful, the county plans to remove the yield signs from the Broad and Glenside exits onto I-64 east, since no one pays any attention to them anyway.

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Comments

10 Comments so far

  1. Leslie on April 6, 2010 9:31 am

    Genius.

  2. bcarr on April 6, 2010 12:11 pm

    Do want.

  3. The Lone Wolf on April 7, 2010 8:03 am

    Most confusing highway exits ever.

  4. NewsFeeds 4.9.10 : Richmond BizSense on April 9, 2010 5:33 am

    [...] S-A-T-I-R-E Three Additional Glenside/Broad Exits To Be Added (Tobacco Avenue) Henrico County officials today announced a multi-year transportation plan that will add three more exits off westbound lanes of Interstate 64 onto Glenside Drive and Broad Street, increasing the total number of exits there to six. [...]

  5. Frank Hargis on April 9, 2010 7:00 am

    I can never remember… which exit do you take to get to the Steak and Ale?

  6. Brian on April 9, 2010 7:54 am

    I love this. Got me laughing ALMOST as hard as the ‘Allen Allen Allen & Allen to add a fifth Allen” article. ;-)

  7. spencer hines on April 9, 2010 8:40 am

    my strong suggestion is that fixing the roads which are sorely in need of repair trumps any further expenditures for new “improvements” when the budget apparently has little to no excess funds for anything

  8. Mike on April 9, 2010 9:09 am

    Awesome- maybe the County can add more stoplights on Patterson too… And how does Downtown Short Pump survive with only a paltry 2 exits?

  9. Right on Broad on April 11, 2010 5:12 am

    We need to show some appreciation for the dumbass at VDOT who engineered the new entry into the former Reynolds Metals campus at Broad and Glenside, too. That was a masterpiece of design, with the road bending to accomodate two lanes of turning traffic into private property.

    All in all the Glenside and Broad area is a masterpiece of highway engineering and an excellent use of the last of our roadway tax revenue.

  10. Kelly on January 14, 2011 9:51 am

    WHOOSH!

    >my strong suggestion is that fixing the roads which >are sorely in need of repair trumps any further >expenditures for new “improvements” when the budget >apparently has little to no excess funds for anything

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