July 16, 2009
Only 10 a.m. and having already cleaned up seven puddles of vomit and the “abysmal” third-floor men’s bathroom, Have a Nice Day Cafe employee Jessamyn Rowe told reporters today that she is currently in the midst of an absolutely miserable day.
Rowe, who has worked at the windowless South 18th Street club for the past five years, said she rarely gets to have a nice day at the Shockoe Bottom bar – particularly on days such as today, after having spent a large portion of the afternoon cleaning up a baby pool filled with a mix of chocolate pudding and Vaseline.
“You won’t even believe this, but I just found a pair of sandblasted Abercrombie guy’s jeans and a muscle shirt in the girl’s bathroom,” the 25-year-old said, stepping over a pile of broken glass, the result of four nightclub-goers dropping their Jager Bomb drinks late yesterday evening. “I mean, what did the guy even wear out of this place when he left, his gold chain and Brooklyn Fade?”
Rowe also noted that she couldn’t wait to get home when her shift ends at 2 a.m., saying she is “sick to her stomach” over the smell of stale Miller Genuine Draft, Smirnoff Ice and Axe Body Spray still lingering in the air even 12 hours after the last patron left the building.
“How is it that so many girls can lose belly-button rings? I must have picked up like seven of them today off the floor,” Rowe said. “I’m pretty sure I could also leave here and start my own business selling all the four-inch high heels I’ve found laying around.”
Sources later confirmed that the look on Rowe’s face today is “not consistent with” the yellow smiley face featured on the side of the building.
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Guy Who Lives Above 3 Monkeys Tired Of Asking Everyone To Keep It Down
Nick Cavalieri, who has lived in the apartment directly above 3 Monkeys Bar and Grill since November, is getting "more than fed up" with having to continuously tell his neighbors to be quiet, the 30-year-old said today.
"Monday through Sunday, I hear those guys partying pretty much every night," Cavalieri said. The University ...
The last sentence makes the whole article funnier.
“a baby pool filled with a mix of chocolate pudding and Vaseline” Sounds remarkably similar to whatever it is that’s going on in my bathtub