June 29, 2009
City officials today named the first Chief Administrative Rolling On Floor Laughing Officer, charged with ensuring that Richmond residents are provided with a dose of laughter each day – particularly while rolling on the floor, if the situation is humorous enough.
John L. Warren, who came to Richmond from Louisville, Ky. after serving for three years as its CALOLO, will move into his position as CAROFLO effective July 1. The position, which requires creating circumstances that result in uproarious laughter for city residents, will earn him $60,000 a year.
While Richmond has long had a CIO and CTO – along with a newly-appointed CAO - the CAROFLO will focus on generating ample opportunities for LOLs, C[huckle]OLs, LMAOs and the highly-rare ROFLMAO for citizens of all racial and economic backgrounds.
Warren said he will strive to be an “equal opportunity offender,” pulling a variety of pranks and cracking jokes at “anybody and anything’s expense.”
“Nothing is going to be sacred,” the 42-year-old Warren said, noting there is no such thing as “too soon” in making light of tragedy, so long as the joke leads to the cracking of smiles, grins, or the spitting of one’s cereal or coffee onto a computer monitor.
Richmond Mayor Dwight Jones praised the CAROFLO’s willingness to push the envelope in order to create ROFLs and even higher forms of acronym-based laughter, such as the ROFL-copter.
“While we work to improve our struggling educational system and ensure that tax rates are kept low, the CARFOLO wants to make sure that all of our city’s residents are adequately chuckled each and every day,” said Richmond Mayor Dwight Jones, flanked to his right by Warren, who was wearing a red clown nose while maintaining a serious look on his face.
“As you can see, John really has what it takes to make all of us LOL from time to time,” added Jones, who then rolled around on the floor until his ass became detached from his body.
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