March 06, 2009
Claiming that the couple was glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife at the time, Chesterfield County high school student Evan Bay told reporters this morning that a romantic encounter in his car with fellow classmate Katie Craig could only be described as “seeing paradise by the dashboard light.”
“I remember every little thing about it, as though it happened only yesterday,” the 17-year-old said, noting the late Saturday evening encounter took place after parking his father’s Chevrolet Suburban by a lake with nary another car in sight. “Up until that point, I’d never had a girl looking any better than she did.”
“I bet all the guys at school really wished they were me that night,” he added.
Even Craig, who sneaked out of her home into the cold, lonely and deep dark night, admitted that the pair was “doubly blessed” with the heavy make-out session.
“Ain’t no doubt about it,” the barely 17-year-old said, again noting the two were very blessed. “Baby got to go and shout it.”
Yet, des
pite Bay’s determination to “go all the way,” the high school senior could not help but pay attention to a rather intense baseball game being broadcast over the radio at the time.
“I mean, it was two down, nobody on, no score, bottom of the ninth, a line shot up the middle, the guy was flying,” Bay said. “He rounded first, made it safely to second. Then the next batter steps up to the plate, and the guy steals third! Bunt down the third base line, and the guy goes for home! It was crazy.”
However, in his attempts to both listen to the radio and take the make-out session to the next level, Bay was was quickly stopped by his girlfriend of nearly two months, who then repeatedly demanded the young man love her forever, make her happy for the rest of her life, and, eventually, make her his wife.
“Baby. Baby, let me sleep on it,” Bay said he remembered replying to Craig, noting he would give her an answer in the morning. “The morning. I’ll tell you in the morning.”
After repeated questioning from Craig, sources said the boy finally caved and “swore to God and on his mother’s grave” that he would love her until the end of time, a moment that, unbeknownst to him in the car, he will one day hope to arrive as soon as possible.
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Guy Who Lives Above 3 Monkeys Tired Of Asking Everyone To Keep It Down
Nick Cavalieri, who has lived in the apartment directly above 3 Monkeys Bar and Grill since November, is getting "more than fed up" with having to continuously tell his neighbors to be quiet, the 30-year-old said today.
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Excellent use of “nary”.
See if you can lay down a “ceteris paribus” in one of next week’s articles.