February 26, 2009
A grim report out today from professors at Virginia Commonwealth University presents new insight and highlights several leading economic indicators showing that this economy bullshit – however shitty it may already be – will stay shitty for the time being and likely become shitter and remain that way well into the future.
“Based on roughly 50 leading macroeconomic models, along with interviews with academics from both 
sides of the aisle, we have determined that, for an indefinite period, this shit’s not going to get better anytime soon,” said VCU economics professor Benjamin W. McFadin, co-author of the 73-page report, entitled, The Last 40 Years: Why It’s All Gone To Shit.
The report comes on the heels of a whole bunch of shitty data from the Conference Board index, which reported yesterday that consumer confidence, a leading measure of just how shitty things have become, plunged to a record low of 25 in February from 37.4 a month prior.
“Based on those figures, combined with our own internal research,” McFadin said, “conventional wisdom would have us believe that shit sucks right now, that’s for sure.”
On a local level, McFadin’s report notes the shitty job outlook and several key rounds of layoffs and bankruptcies in the Richmond area “will make everything worse before this shit gets better,” though the professor believes the holy-load-of-bullshit federal stimulus package combined with the trillions of dollars lost in retirements and savings accounts further aggravates the shittiness of the economy as a whole.
Also, he said, an increase – shit – in metropolitan area foreclosures and a dearth of private equity and credit will continue to make matters shitty well into 2012.
Yet despite the near-universal shit outlook given by economists, Chesterfield County resident Patricia Wald remains optimistic.
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Nick Cavalieri, who has lived in the apartment directly above 3 Monkeys Bar and Grill since November, is getting "more than fed up" with having to continuously tell his neighbors to be quiet, the 30-year-old said today.
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I thought this site was supposed to be sarcastic takes on current events.
This report seems entirely factual to me.