February 03, 2009
Despite having picked up brand new business cards from the printers yesterday that, until now, he was “extremely proud of,” Richmond-area psychopath Patrick Bateman said today that he has grown dangerously envious after seeing colleague Paul Allen’s business card at a morning meeting.
Bateman said the more-superior Allen card is complete with Romalian type on an Eggshell-colored cardstock, 
while his own card is typeset on a bone stock with a lettering known as Silian Rail. Though the 32-year-old’s card is undoubtedly a collateral piece reserved for the more opulent man, Bateman said his prestige was immediately made insignificant by the card now carried by his coworker in the mergers and aquisitions department of downtown investment bank Pierce & Pierce.
“Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it,” Bateman thought to himself, clinching his left fist as Allen presented the business card to a table of four. ”Oh my God, it even has a watermark.”
Later, wielding a fire axe, Bateman asked his colleague if he enjoyed Huey Lewis & The News.
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Guy Who Lives Above 3 Monkeys Tired Of Asking Everyone To Keep It Down
Nick Cavalieri, who has lived in the apartment directly above 3 Monkeys Bar and Grill since November, is getting "more than fed up" with having to continuously tell his neighbors to be quiet, the 30-year-old said today.
"Monday through Sunday, I hear those guys partying pretty much every night," Cavalieri said. The University ...
“tasteful thickness” made me giggle. related: I am not a grownup.
Checkoutgirl, the credit for your giggle should go to whomever wrote American psycho for I copied word for word. And no, that is not plagiarism.
I’ve just stopped reading the paper. This is so much more entertaining.