January 29, 2009
A STORY THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO SERIOUSLY REPORT ON THE COLD FRONT COMING IN HAS BEEN TOTALLY RUINED BY THIS REPORTER’S BROKEN CAPS LOCK, THE THING.
WITH THE SUN BACK OUT TODAY AND TEMPERATURES IN THE MID 40S, A COLD FRONT WILL MOVE THROUGH THE RICHMOND AREA AND COULD BRING A FLURRY OR TWO LATER TOMORROW. HONESTLY, WHY WON’T THIS THING UN-STICK? MUST BE EATING TRISCUITS AND CHEDDAR CRACKERS OVER THE KEYBOARD EVERY AFTERNOON AROUND THREE O’CLOCK. WHAT CAN I SAY, THEY’RE DELIGHTFUL AND I HATE HAVING TO GET UP FROM MY DESK TO EAT THEM IN THE BREAKROOM. WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT?
OH YES, THE WEATHER REPORT.
“PLAN TO BUNDLE UP THIS WEEKEND,” SAID NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE SPOKESWOMAN EDITH GARDNER. “EXPECT RAINS AGAIN ON MONDAY WITH POSSIBLE SNOW ON TUESDAY, AND WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME SOUND LIKE I’M SCREAMING?”
NO NO, I’M NOT TRYING TO DO MAKE YOU SOUND THAT WAY, MRS. GARDNER, JUST KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER AND IGNORE THE FACT THAT THE BUTTON ON MY KEYBOARD THAT MAKES ALL LETTERS UPPER-CASE ISN’T WORKING PROPERLY.
HEY WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? SON OF A BITCH, I REALLY DO SOUND LIKE I’M YELLING. DAMN Triscuits. Oh, there we go.
Comments
2 Comments so far
Guy Who Lives Above 3 Monkeys Tired Of Asking Everyone To Keep It Down
Nick Cavalieri, who has lived in the apartment directly above 3 Monkeys Bar and Grill since November, is getting "more than fed up" with having to continuously tell his neighbors to be quiet, the 30-year-old said today.
"Monday through Sunday, I hear those guys partying pretty much every night," Cavalieri said. The University ...
Geez, I hate wHEN THAT HAPPENS…OMG….WTF??? Oh, NM (DAMNIT!!!) It was just a coworker wanting me to clean up the Coke she spilled on this Mac for a second time. The first time she took it in the bathtub with her and wondered why it didn’t work anymore. Go figure.
Funniest thing I’ve read all day. Brilliant!