Tobacco Avenue

EDITOR’S NOTE: For the next five weeks leading up to the Nov. 4 election, Tobacco Avenue will profile each of the five candidates for Richmond mayor.  This week, we begin with Robert Grey. -Randolph J. Strummer Jr., Editor & Publisher.

Background

Why he’s running for mayor: Lifelong advocate of personal career growth.

Education: Frequently notes that he was brought up in Richmond Public Schools.  However, he keeps his “rather embarrassing” senior photograph hidden and rarely mentions his “nerdy days” in middle school.

Career: Attorney, Hunton & Williams.  Specializes in mediation, or the legal ramifications of focusing one’s mind to relax and reduce stress.

Hates having to say: “It’s ‘-ey,’ not ‘-ay.’”

Proudest moment: Once sang  “Wind Beneath My Wings” to Barack Obama at fundraiser event.

Chances of turning into werewolf if not home by midnight: Extremely high.

On The Issues

Education: Wants 15 new schools and an investment in more vocational programs, but admits he browses Web frequently to figure out what, exactly, “vocational” means.

Crime: Has promised to stop all violence before it occurs by buying police department one of those weird psychic people from Minority Report.

City Hall: Believes the inside needs to be as awesome and good-looking as the outside.

Services: Thinks citizens should be able to access all city services online, including parking their cars, turning on water, and using the mass transit system.

Taxes: Wants to keep the tax burden low for residents and bring spiraling property assessments under control, but to do it will take the taxing of all city La-Z-Boy recliner purchases by a rate of 97 percent.

Community involvement: A member of more than 4,700 local clubs, associations, nonprofits, organizations, volunteer groups and boards, he has promised to banish from city limits any resident who does not give back as much personal time as he does.