Tobacco Avenue

Answering questions as to who will fill the major hole after his departure next year, Virginia Commonwealth University president Eugene P. Trani addressed reporters during a press conference, stating only, “That’s what she said.”

“I know many of you are wondering who will replace me, and whether someone big enough can fill this gaping hole,” said Trani, who was obviously trying hard not to make reference to the double entendre he’d just made, before quickly blurting out, “That’s what she said.”

Trani has been an instrumental figure in the revitalization of Richmond, acting as much a mayor as a university president after having headed up the erection of many local buildings.  Under his leadership, student enrollment slowly swelled to a firm standing of 32,000.

At the press conference assembled near the rear entry of the university provost’s office, a reporter asked Trani whether someone could be found to fill the shoes of VCU’s fourth president, who is stepping down for health reasons.  “Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet, right?” responded Trani, smirking. 

Trani then explained that, while some VCU critics have questioned the timing of his resignation as the school deals with several potentially damning controversies, “truly, there is nothing wrong with pulling out early. In fact, I recommend it as a good way to stay healthy.”  He then winked at a nearby reporter.