March 05, 2008
Damage to buildings and property across Virginia from last night’s high winds and rain has cast a spotlight on the need for increased protection from dinosaur attacks, the governor said today.
“We’ve got destroyed homes and buildings and thousands of residents without power, all because of a few thunderstorms,” Gov. Timothy M. Kaine said today as h
e surveyed shambles of a former restaurant in Louisa County. “It is obvious to me that our state is no longer impervious when a pack of Tyrannosaurus Rexes decides to charge through, what with their big teeth and that giant tail they have.”
“And while we may have survived the lightening strikes, don’t expect the same when it comes from a velociraptor,” he added.
A lifelong dinosaur lover, Kaine warned Virginians not to be fooled by the large size of a T-Rex, as they can sprint up to 24 miles per hour, which is faster than most humans. He urged lawmakers to increase state funding to both carnivorous and herbivorous dinosaur defense systems, as even the relatively human-friendly and plant-loving brontosaurs “sometimes don’t pay attention to where they’re stepping, like that one scene in ‘Jurassic Park.’”
The dino-warnings come on the heels of Kaine’s forced viewing the recently-released film “Definitely, Maybe,” after which the governor cautioned all state men to never, ever get a girlfriend.
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Richmond Now Available In 3-D
Thought you knew the Richmond skyline? Take another look.
Buildings, parks, trees, highways and more now appear to show length, width, depths and height when viewed from any angle - and without the need for special 3-D glasses.
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