February 14, 2008
As the city’s No. 1 blog takes a hiatus with its writer having accepted a job at City Hall, local residents say they are sad to see River City Rapids stop publishing, and note they have no idea how they will continue to exist without its frequent updates.
After taking a few days off from posting – time Richmonders now learn was spent debating whether to take the role of the city’s public information manager – Jon Baliles told readers in his Feb. 13 column that he was ”throttling back the blog” and will now post on only non-city related matters, as future entries about River City politics may hurt his reputation on the job.
“He signs off with nothing but a quick explanation that he got this great job offer and a ‘Cheers,’” said local blog reader Mallory Solimini, who noted that she is just going to stop reading and even thinking altogether because of the loss. ”That’s all he’s got to say? What the hell? He’s just going to leave us hanging with the phrase you use with friends to drink beers? This is worse than the last episode of ‘Sopranos.’”
For six years, Baliles – who was continuously hooked into an intravenous bag of pure trimethylxanthine in order to consistently write and retain his job as an insurance broker – has opined on downtown development, city politics and local events. Many Richmond-area bloggers and readers have bookmarked River City Rapids, with some writers linking to and from the site or using it as a starting point for their own thoughts and blog posts.
In addition, “RCR,” as the blog is known, has enjoyed the top ranking on RVABlogs.com’s “Hott or Nott” list, which compiles and ranks nearly 250 local blogs. Without regular posts, observers note Balilies’ ranking will inevitably fall, leading many to draw correlations from RCR to man’s eventual and inescapable end.
At local blog J’s Notes, a site with entries known for their brevity, writer Jason Kenney posted nearly 1,300 words on how he will miss River City Rapids, and how he had lost all semblance of who he has become during his relatively short time on Earth.
“Indeed, what is this existence we live but a dreary journey into the abyss – such a delicate plain on which we live, our daily goings-on nothing but a trek to all that is but doomed. Ordained. Unalterable. Our fate. The end,” the post said, which like all Kenney’s others included a link, this one to NPR’s The End of Life: Exploring Death in America.
At Caramelized OpiNIONS (aka RVA Foodie), blogger Jason Guard – who typically saves Top 10 posts for an obligatory year-end compilation - took time to list Baliles 10 favorite foods.
“He always loved the Metro Bakery’s Hot Pepper Parmesan bread. I remember when they were closing, and he told us in his Jan. 15 post that ‘our existence on this Earth is incomplete’ without having that stuff,” Guard wrote. “Well I never had it, the Carytown bakery is gone, Baliles stopped blogging to work for [Richmond Mayor L. Douglas] Wilder, and one day, far from now, we are all going to die. Some of us pretty painfully.”
Other bloggers aren’t as sad to see RCR go.
“Mission accomplished,” wrote Paul Hammond, who runs Lost Art of the City and admits that for weeks he has been secretly hoping that Baliles would drop in the overall rankings – which he will for sure, just as people died yesterday, today, and will die again tomorrow.
Hammond has now all-but-secured the city’s first-place blog rank. “They say things are meant to be, and for me, this is that thing,” he said. “This was to happen for certain, much like our own demise and civilization’s absolute end.”
At Tobacco Avenue, editor Randolph J. Strummer IX released a statement saying that he was sad to see RCR would be taking a leave of absence.
“However, while River City Rapids may drop in the Hott or Nott rankings, that doesn’t take away from the fact that I still consider Jon at the top of my mancrush list. No. 1 forever,” he said.
Added Strummer: “Not that there’s such a thing as ‘forever,’ because life is not an infinite period, as there will come a Doomsday – someday, somehow - just as we have seen with River City Rapids.”
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"I was ...
Well, that’s one way to shut him up…
I can’t begin to tell you how much I’m looking forward to all the pro-mayor postings on the way…
Don’t we get enough of those from the RTD?
Hey now! Let’s give JB credit for his honestly and integrity and wish him luck in his new position. Let’s hope his steadfastness to the principles that have made him Richmond’s most beloved blogger will rub off on his new co-workers and that if he finds himself in a position where he can no longer be true to those principles, he will quit and come blogging back home to us. Best of luck Jon!
I cannot accept the position as leading spokes blogger. In deference to a great, need I say articulate, sincere and deferential, oracle of our city’s zeitgeist, I will be resigning my position as the foremost critic at large.
I have been bearing this burden too long and I must cleanse my soul. It has all been a hoax. There is no Paul Hammond. I stole his identity on a hackers website, have drained his vast fortune and ruined his good reputation. To this day he has no idea what has gone on behind his back. He is an innocent and a simpleton.
Those who know him know better. “He’s never had two nickels to rub together,” said his elderly frail mother Paulina, “but there was never a better son.” Paul, who never married, in fact continues to live in his mother’s basement and spends most of his time counting his collection of wheat pennies. “I have 45.” Paul says proudly with a silly grin and snot dripping out of one nostril.
Luck is what he’s going to need. Honesty and integrity are two words I don’t necessarily attach to the mayor’s office.
I’m looking forward to reading about JB’s *next* job!
What better way to chronicle dysfunction than from within. I don’t have anything against working both sides of the street, but you can’t do both at the same time. I can’t imagine what was on his mind taking this job. I will watch with equal fascination and horror. I wonder if you notice it when your soul leaves you body or if you can check it at the door and pick it up on your way out?
Run, Jon, Run!