Police at Virginia Commonwealth University this morning sent an e-mail memo to students reminding them that, should they choose to ride a bicycle, the Richmond campus is still not included in any stage of the Tour de France.

“Contrary to what some of you may believe, the Monroe Park campus is, in fact, in Virginia,” VCU police chief Robert Mobley wrote in the 72-word note.  “We understand the park’s fountain does resemble something Parisian, but please slow down and realize that the roads are not closed to vehicular traffic, as that is West Franklin Street you are on, not the Champs-Elysees.”

Mobley wrote that, while VCU’s Monroe Park campus encompasses nearly 35 city blocks, not a single one of the roads, corners or even alleys within that area were a part of the world-famous 21-stage cycling race. 

“Furthermore, you are not one of nine members of the U.S. Postal Service team barreling down a French countryside in a 22-person peloton,” he wrote.  “Yes, I am referring to you, guy who I see swerving in and out of cars every morning with his messenger bag as though he just broke away on the downhill finish to Loudenvielle.”

Mobley also noted that the cars seen driving on campus or people on the sidewalks were simply commuters and folks passing through the inner-city school, and not a part of any camera crew or spectator group.

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Comments

11 Comments so far

  1. Andrew Cothern on February 12, 2008 10:26 am

    Apparently that email memo was ignored by the majority of the student body. Almost hit three of them this morning.

  2. Bud T'ugly on February 12, 2008 1:01 pm

    Okay, a little more levity on a grey day:

    Police Find Crack in Man’s Buttocks

  3. Bud T'ugly on February 12, 2008 1:01 pm

    Okay, a little more levity on a grey day:

    Police Find Crack in Man’s Buttocks

  4. Bud T'ugly on February 12, 2008 1:01 pm

    Okay, a little more levity on a grey day:

    Police Find Crack in Man’s Buttocks

  5. Bud T'ugly on February 12, 2008 1:01 pm

    Okay, a little more levity on a grey day:

    Police Find Crack in Man’s Buttocks

  6. Bud T'ugly on February 12, 2008 1:01 pm

    Okay, a little more levity on a grey day:

    Police Find Crack in Man’s Buttocks

  7. Bud T'ugly on February 12, 2008 1:01 pm

    Okay, a little more levity on a grey day:

    Police Find Crack in Man’s Buttocks

  8. Bud T'ugly on February 12, 2008 1:01 pm

    Okay, a little more levity on a grey day:

    Police Find Crack in Man’s Buttocks

  9. RVA Foodie on February 12, 2008 2:07 pm

    This post would be even funnier had the “VCU Police” had asked the cyclists to refrain from right rolling thier pant legs up to mid-thigh level. A couple inches is all it takes to keep your pans off the chainring.

  10. Des on February 12, 2008 9:34 pm

    LoL I find it funny that he would use those words. People aren’t gonna slow down. Maybe a bike speed limit? Either that, or, put a few more hobos to serve as road blocks.

  11. Andrew on February 13, 2008 10:23 am

    This is the damn truth. I am surprised more VCU students aren’t killed riding their bicycles as they ignore most basic traffic laws – including stop signs.

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