January 24, 2008
Richmond’s premier intramural sports and social organization said yesterday that only three people have signed up for its spring unicycle hockey and Buzkashi leagues.
The low numbers could mean the River City Sports & Social Club will not hold this summer’s hockey games on single-wheeled bikes, nor will it reserve field space for the the traditional Afghan game much like polo, only played with a dead goat calf instead of a ball.
“Without the interest, unfortunately it looks as though we will only be able to offer the traditional kickball, wiffleball and dodgeball for after-work outings, followed by beers at Sine,” Sam Tucker, head of the sports and social club, told reporters. “People simply don’t have the necessary skills to ride a unicycle while hitting a puck or fling a goat carcass across a goal line with a stick.”
Added Tucker: “Not even with the prospect of some cold Coors Light and socializing afterward.”
Founded nearly four years ago, River City Sports & Social Club offers Richmonders generally younger than 35 the chance to get together for one of five sports after work, followed by drinks and mingling at a local restaurant once games are over.
After seeing thousands of city residents flock to flag-football, kickball and other leagues, Tucker said he thought there would be great interest in adding a few more events and presumed the latest offerings would appeal to a more diverse demographic, “specifically those of Central Asian-descent and circus clowns.”
“Simply put, the act of galloping on a horse to grab a headless goat and toss it into a so-called ‘Circle of Justice’ or having a face-off at center court while maintaining balance on a unicycle was simply not as big a draw as we predicted,” Tucker said.
Tucker added that he hopes to gain more buy-in to next year’s new offerings: Intramural Rock-Paper-Scissors, Duck Duck Goose, Calvinball and Scouting the Opposing Team To Check Out the Hot People.
Coming tomorrow: Oranges, lemons file fruit-discrimination suit against makers of Corona
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