“Knowing the general, overall reputation of Velvet up to this point, I’m counting on a three-story high extended middle finger.” – Cameron  Andrews, 38, Church Hill 

“I’m pretty sure there’s a print shop around the corner that can blow up that one poster of Farrah Fawcett in the red bathing suit, for a nominal cost.” – Jonah Myers, 57, Midlothian

“It’s obvious this move by the strip club is just Velvet trying to tone down the attention it draws to itself, what with the two jacked-up Hummers and searchlights and all.” – Jennifer Gregory, 42, West End

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Local Girlfriend Cuts Boyfriend-Interest Rate To All-Time Low
Fan District resident and girlfriend Audrey Rankin said yesterday that she has dropped her boyfriend-interest rate by nearly 74 points in a move that is expected to help stimulate her partner's investment into their two-year relationship. The couple, according to Rankin, has been on the decline for the past six months amid boyfriend Andrew Adams' ...

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