December 29, 2007
With the cold front behind us by mid-Saturday, get young David out from his ‘Guitar Hero III’ and start collecting lumber to build a giant boat to keep your family safe from the Great Flood that will cover the city. While you are at it, be sure to gather two of every animal, a 5-pound box of Chex Mix from Costco and something to entertain yourself, like Redbook or Parade magazines. You won’t need water, as there will be plenty of it to go around. Plus, you’ll have two camels’ backs.
The final day of 2007 and modern civilization on Monday should start mildly around 50 degrees before rising to around 6,000 or so by late afternoon. The waters will turn to blood, frogs will rain from the sky, skin will cover in unhealable boils and darkness will rule as the world comes to a grinding halt and everything – including your ark – is obliterated in the apocalypse at the Hand of the Antichrist.
If you’re still around the next day, it will be really cold.
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Guy Who Lives Above 3 Monkeys Tired Of Asking Everyone To Keep It Down
Nick Cavalieri, who has lived in the apartment directly above 3 Monkeys Bar and Grill since November, is getting "more than fed up" with having to continuously tell his neighbors to be quiet, the 30-year-old said today.
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