December 28, 2007
Co-owners of the Velvet nightclub said yesterday that there is nothing in life they appreciate more than driving their Hummers, watching young women take off clothes for money and researching the history of Diana, Princess of Wales – whose mural is plastered across their Main Street-facing brick wall.
In an exclusive interview with Tobacco Avenue, Reggie Garcia and Don Clarke – who opened Velvet in 1991 to slightly more fanfare than when Richard’s Rendezvous was established years earlier – shared what is so apparent on their faces to be a heartfelt attachment to raised, flashy SUVS with graphic wraps of partially-nude women, a cheap lunch buffet and Diana Spencer, the “People’s Princess” who Garcia says “represents one of history’s most influential and charitable human beings.”
Clarke – who said he drives the blue Hummer H2 wrapped with graphics of “hot babes touching each other” but makes sure to keep the vehicle parked out front so people can see it when idle – said he can still remember where he was in July 1981 when Diana married Prince Charles.
“Staring at an upper thigh covered in dollar bills hanging over a red garter belt. One of my first showgirls at this club where I was a bartender in Jersey,” he said. “The TV up high in the corner was tuned into the ceremony the whole time. Black and white and bad reception, but beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.”
To help greet the city’s visitors at Main and 15th streets, the men also commissioned a depth perception-handicapped artist to paint a picture of their favorite princess on the side of the gentleman’s club. The sky-blue image gives Diana a much larger nose than she actually had, and, some critics have argued, looks nothing like her.
Garcia – who drives the red Hummer and notes it has Bluetooth capability in the stereo with Alpine subwoofers “that makes the thing rock hard so people look at me” – added that the owners bear some resemblances to Diana. While the princess raised awareness of AIDS and landmines in Africa, the Velvet proprietors are hoping to raise the visibility of their strip club, having recently installed two searchlights on their roof that create two long shafts of rich, white light that can be seen from miles away.
“It helps draw attention to the club, our awesome Hummers, the girls, the great frozen food and the woman who we hold so dear to our hearts - God bless her, Lady Di,” Clarke said.
City Councilman William J. Pantele said it is unfortunate the club sits in such a high-profile location, but zoning laws allow the establishment to stay there. “I think what is really deplorable is not Velvet itself, but rather why no one has given the late princess’ portrait the equivalent of an artistic rhinoplasty,” he said.
But, Garcia added, the searchlights may help increase tourism revenue to the city by beckoning road-weary travelers on Interstates 64 and 95 to the intersection. The corner is one of the first places drivers from the highway – and perhaps other states - arrive in search of a bite to eat and to gain their first impressions of downtown Richmond. “And you can’t beat a $1.99 buffet and a beautiful – albeit not accurate – portrait of Diana,” he said.
Clarke later noted the pair was distressed for weeks in 1997 after hearing Diana had been killed in a Paris car crash.
“It was horrible, I cried for days,” he said. “Even harder than I tear up when I see a one of our girls flip upside down onto a pole, wrap her legs around it twice, curl her finger in a ‘come here’ motion towards a patron’s face and suck on her index finger on the other hand.”
Clarke added that the stereotypical reasons why some men drive Hummers are actually the real reasons why the owners drive Hummers. “And I don’t mean I hate the environment,” he chuckled, holding up his small left hand.
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Heck with “leggs and eggs” when you’ve got “the nose and ho’s”
This blog has been cracking me up lately; you’re doing an excellent job. I especially enjoyed the last paragraph of this entry. Very telling. Thank you.
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